Plan E

Things don't always go as planned. Everyone knows this but not all people actually REALIZE how true this is.

Tommy and I know this truth VERY well considering we've had to postpone our wedding not once, not twice, but THREE times. It gets a little old having people constantly asking us WHEN we're getting married and questioning why it's taking so long.

Not a day goes by where we don't think about how we're STILL in waiting. We don't need you reminding us that you're waiting too. I understand that you're excited to see us tie the knot, but BELIEVE ME, we're more anxious and excited than you could ever be. You, the guest, are waiting for the party. We, the Bride and Groom, are waiting to spend our lives together. We're waiting for our lives to begin. So please stop asking. We'll let you know when its happening, and if not well maybe it's because you won't be invited.

And again, everything doesn't go according to plan. But since people seem to think we're not trying our hardest for this wedding to happen, I guess I'm just going to have to spell things out.

Plan A: Education
At the beginning stage of our relationship, Tommy was going to school for computers. He liked it, he was doing well, learning a lot, then they close the class due to the small class size. So plan A is out.

Plan B: Get a job and Move Up
Tommy eventually stared working for Modern VideoFilm (they edit movies and TV programs. If you look at the credits to a lot of popular shows you'll see the name). He started in the Shipping and Receiving department but was going to eventually move up to "QC" where he will edit. He loved this job and soon we were engaged. Then the writers strike happened, the economy went down the drain, and he was laid off. Plan B is also now out.

Plan C: Start Business
Now this one may seem like a stretch because it's A LOT of work, etc etc. But, with the help of a friend, it was very possible. Tommy buys business cards, starts a website, networks, then gets a ticket and loses his license (which is necessary because the business requires him to drive everywhere). Plan C is out the window (temporarily)

Plan D: Go back to school, again
Now since Tommy's business was put on hold he decided to go back to school. The school was free, free room and board, and gets a little allowance. We're excited and it looks promising. He gets info on orientation and finds out that because of ticket (which yes was Tommy's fault. BUT how it was handled after was NOT his fault and ended up screwing him over) he can't join until after it's taken care of, which was a problem because he couldn't find work. And time was already running out because this particular school was only for ages 16-24 and at this time he was going to be 24 in about 8 months. Plan D is out.

Plan E: Working and Starting his business (again)
This is where we are now. Things are looking good, but we're not going to get too excited just yet. Tommy likes his job, they like him, he's doing well, and now has something to add to his business (which he's supposed to get some free supplies for).

If I believed in luck, I'd swear we had bad luck.

The Silver Lining to our Dark Cloud

I don't always agree with that saying but in this particular case I do.

As you may know, Tommy and I have had to postpone our wedding more than once. Each time for me personally I had a breakdown and felt like I died a little inside. It made me sick just thinking about how we had to yet again wait to finally get married. I don't even know how Tommy felt because he never expressed it. But I do know he was not happy about it either.

Even though it has been extremely difficult on us some good has come out of it which is very important. We have had the opportunity to really work on ourselves AND our relationship. It feels good knowing our relationship is rock hard. Despite the fact our engagement has been a waiting game, we're actually happy. And our love is as strong as ever.

Just the other day I was talking to my best friend about it and even though I already knew we were improving I didn't actually realize something good came out from having to wait. We have always felt that we had a good relationship, but in our earlier years we fought a lot (from what I learned it was a "normal" amount). It was more than I would have liked but the good times outweighs the bad so we stuck it out (because come on, who wants to fight?). But as time went on and things improved drastically we both acknowledged that our relationship is pretty awesome :) Its now rare for us to actually fight, have an argument/disagreement, or bicker. And it wasn't even that hard! All we have to do it REMEMBER. It's been great! And yesterday I asked Tommy how he thought our relationship has been and he said "Absolutely excellent". How awesome is that??

Needless to say, all this waiting not only brought us even closer together and deepened our love but it turned out to be the best thing for us.

Yeah

I know most people mean well when they try giving advice, but I really hate how they just assume.
I'm talking about me and Tommy getting married. Most people tell us not to rush because we're still young. Yes rushing is never good especially when it comes to something as important as marriage, and yes we are still young but it's not like we meet a week ago and decided to just get married. Tommy and I have known each other FOREVER, have been together for 5 years, and engaged for almost 2. We're not rushing into anything. Just because most people/young people are stupid it doesn't mean we all are.

Why our wedding hasn't happened yet

There has been a lot of talk and negative feelings for Tommy and I being engaged so long. Just imagine how WE must feel not only to have to deal with those who like to gossip but to HAVE TO KEEP WAITING. We don't appreciate people speaking negatively of us for something that is out of our control.

Want to know why we haven't had our wedding yet? Well to put it simply, we got engaged RIGHT before the US went into a recession and ever since then things have gone down hill. That should be easy enough to understand why this wedding is taking forever, and it should also be enough reason for people to stop running their mouths because we didn't ask to be put in this situation and we'd really appreciate it if people stop thinking so badly of us without even knowing whats going on.

Have things been easy for you? I highly doubt it. So why is it so hard to realize that things are going to be just as hard, if not harder for us? Stop focusing on us and just focus on yourselves.

But you know what? This should just show how strong our relationship is. Not only are we forced to deal with a financial crisis, but we are also forced to deal with people WHO ARE SUPPOSED to be loving and up building, but instead prefer to tear us down when we're already at a low point. What does this say about you (those who are the ones doing this)?


Tommy and I were engaged November 16, 2007
The US recession started December 2007

ENOUGH SAID!

Trash Talk

I wonder how much more is actually said about me behind my back when I already know SO MUCH. I'm so sick of this and the people who do it.

This isn't called a recession for nothing

It seems like people don't realize how horribly bad the economy is, don't seem to realize that people are loosing their jobs left and right, that unemployment is at an all time high. We're in a RECESSION PEOPLE. Which means, financially things aren't good. Why is that so hard to understand? Yes, there are SOME jobs out there but if unemployment is extremely high and people are still loosing their jobs, there are obviously NOT ENOUGH TO GO AROUND. Yet when someone can't find a job it's because they're lazy or not looking hard enough. Are you dense or something? Just because you've found a job, or things are going ok for you, or this problem hasn't even really affected you that much it doesn't mean everyone is that fortunate. You REALLY think that a sane person will purposely make their life more difficult than it already is? Uh, nooo. I was always told that I should think before I speak so I don't say something insensitive or just plain stupid. I think it's about time others take that advice because there has been way too much trash talk going around. When you're perfect then you can say something. Otherwise just shut up and stop focusing on others if you're not going to help.

"Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover"

(Just so it's clear, I'm not writing this out of anger. It's out of complete frustration that people can't seem to realize they don't know everything that is going on in other people's lives, that they can't seem to mind their own business, and they can't seem to stop thinking the worst in others. I thought long and hard about posting this, but I'm glad that I am. I want EVERYONE that I know to read this so they are well aware that what they are doing is WRONG)


Ever heard of that saying? I'm sure we all have. It's a good rule to live by even though we tend not to. It's only human nature to judge people just by what we see, but that's only an excuse to keep doing it. We all know we shouldn't judge yet there are still so many who do it regularly.

The reason I say this is because I'm fed up with people in our lives who judge us just based on what they see, hear, or assume. There is SO MUCH everyone around us (including close friends and family) does not know. But do they try to find out the whole story? Do they come to us to see whats up? NO! They go to other people or form their own opinions on what THEY think to be true. How is that ok? It's not. Only God can judge us so why are you, an imperfect human, doing it? You're in NO position to judge us, or anyone else for that matter, and just because something SEEMS a certain way it doesn't mean it's accurate.

Let me give an example:
Say you find out "John", an acquaintance of yours , killed someone. What's your first reaction? Probably something very negative because killing another human is a very serious crime. BUT, that's not the whole story. This is just what one person told you, but you still take it as fact, don't you?

Now lets say you hear the same story from a different person, but now you're given a little more information. This time you find out the "reason" why John did what he did. Lets say he killed this other person because they got into a fight and things just got out of control. John's temper flared and his anger turned to rage, which ended up with the death of the other person. What's your reaction now? Probably about the same because that's still not a good reason to kill.

Now here is the real story. John comes home to find that his home has been broken into. As he's looking around in shock at what has happened, he hears crying and a scream coming from upstairs. He rushes to the second floor to find blood on the floor, items broken, and everything destroyed. He goes into a bedroom, his children are crying hysterically, his wife is bleeding and the home invader is in the process of doing something horrific with a weapon in his hand. John picks up something off the floor, runs towards the criminal, and knocks him out. Somehow (because I don't want to be too graphic) this man dies but it wasn't "just because", it wasn't because he lost his temper, it was for self-defense and his intention wasn't for that man to die, just to get him away from his wife and keep his family safe. Now that you know the truth, what is your reaction? I bet its the complete opposite of the first two situations.

Even though our situation has nothing to do with the killing of another person, the "moral" of the story still applies. No one knows the whole story of what is going on in anyone's life or why things are or aren't going the way they should. A lot of things are out of our control yet we're still being blamed for it and are criticized, looked down upon, and judged.

If anyone wants to know whats going on with us, or why we're not married yet, ASK US! Don't ask our parents, don't ask our friends, don't ask anyone BUT US!!! Because WE ARE THE ONLY ONES who knows EVERYTHING that is going on in OUR LIVES! And I can guarantee that NO ONE knows the whole story because NO ONE EVER BOTHERS ASKING US! They ask other people that they think are a reliable source because of their relationship to us (but if you only knew how those people really are) If you want to know the truth, USE YOUR BRAIN AND GO TO THE SOURCE!!! But even then you will never know the whole story or exactly what is going on. But at least going to the source will be the most accurate one you can get.

I'm sorry to have to say this but the fact that it keeps happening is hurtful, upsetting, and disappointing. I'm not going to just sit back and take people speaking negatively of us or think things without knowing all the facts first.

So when the time comes and you receive and invitation to our wedding, if you've EVER thought negatively of us, gossiped about us, looked down at us, didn't take our engagement seriously, or anything along those lines, DON'T EVEN BOTHER COMING because we will not waste our time or money on someone like that. And if that meant everyone we know, THEN SO BE IT. We will not associate with backstabbing, unloving, self righteous individuals if we can help it.


Just know, anyone who is judging us will be judged themselves.