I know most people mean well when they try giving advice, but I really hate how they just assume. I'm talking about me and Tommy getting married. Most people tell us not to rush because we're still young. Yes rushing is never good especially when it comes to something as important as marriage, and yes we are still young but it's not like we meet a week ago and decided to just get married. Tommy and I have known each other FOREVER, have been together for 5 years, and engaged for almost 2. We're not rushing into anything. Just because most people/young people are stupid it doesn't mean we all are.
There has been a lot of talk and negative feelings for Tommy and I being engaged so long. Just imagine how WE must feel not only to have to deal with those who like to gossip but to HAVE TO KEEP WAITING. We don't appreciate people speaking negatively of us for something that is out of our control.
Want to know why we haven't had our wedding yet? Well to put it simply, we got engaged RIGHT before the US went into a recession and ever since then things have gone down hill. That should be easy enough to understand why this wedding is taking forever, and it should also be enough reason for people to stop running their mouths because we didn't ask to be put in this situation and we'd really appreciate it if people stop thinking so badly of us without even knowing whats going on.
Have things been easy for you? I highly doubt it. So why is it so hard to realize that things are going to be just as hard, if not harder for us? Stop focusing on us and just focus on yourselves.
But you know what? This should just show how strong our relationship is. Not only are we forced to deal with a financial crisis, but we are also forced to deal with people WHO ARE SUPPOSED to be loving and up building, but instead prefer to tear us down when we're already at a low point. What does this say about you (those who are the ones doing this)?
Tommy and I were engaged November 16, 2007 The US recession started December 2007
It seems like people don't realize how horribly bad the economy is, don't seem to realize that people are loosing their jobs left and right, that unemployment is at an all time high. We're in a RECESSION PEOPLE. Which means, financially things aren't good. Why is that so hard to understand? Yes, there are SOME jobs out there but if unemployment is extremely high and people are still loosing their jobs, there are obviously NOT ENOUGH TO GO AROUND. Yet when someone can't find a job it's because they're lazy or not looking hard enough. Are you dense or something? Just because you've found a job, or things are going ok for you, or this problem hasn't even really affected you that much it doesn't mean everyone is that fortunate. You REALLY think that a sane person will purposely make their life more difficult than it already is? Uh, nooo. I was always told that I should think before I speak so I don't say something insensitive or just plain stupid. I think it's about time others take that advice because there has been way too much trash talk going around. When you're perfect then you can say something. Otherwise just shut up and stop focusing on others if you're not going to help.
(Just so it's clear, I'm not writing this out of anger. It's out of complete frustration that people can't seem to realize they don't know everything that is going on in other people's lives, that they can't seem to mind their own business, and they can't seem to stop thinking the worst in others. I thought long and hard about posting this, but I'm glad that I am. I want EVERYONE that I know to read this so they are well aware that what they are doing is WRONG)
Ever heard of that saying? I'm sure we all have. It's a good rule to live by even though we tend not to. It's only human nature to judge people just by what we see, but that's only an excuse to keep doing it. We all know we shouldn't judge yet there are still so many who do it regularly.
The reason I say this is because I'm fed up with people in our lives who judge us just based on what they see, hear, or assume. There is SO MUCH everyone around us (including close friends and family) does not know. But do they try to find out the whole story? Do they come to us to see whats up? NO! They go to other people or form their own opinions on what THEY think to be true. How is that ok? It's not. Only God can judge us so why are you, an imperfect human, doing it? You're in NO position to judge us, or anyone else for that matter, and just because something SEEMS a certain way it doesn't mean it's accurate.
Let me give an example: Say you find out "John", an acquaintance of yours , killed someone. What's your first reaction? Probably something very negative because killing another human is a very serious crime. BUT, that's not the whole story. This is just what one person told you, but you still take it as fact, don't you?
Now lets say you hear the same story from a different person, but now you're given a little more information. This time you find out the "reason" why John did what he did. Lets say he killed this other person because they got into a fight and things just got out of control. John's temper flared and his anger turned to rage, which ended up with the death of the other person. What's your reaction now? Probably about the same because that's still not a good reason to kill.
Now here is the real story. John comes home to find that his home has been broken into. As he's looking around in shock at what has happened, he hears crying and a scream coming from upstairs. He rushes to the second floor to find blood on the floor, items broken, and everything destroyed. He goes into a bedroom, his children are crying hysterically, his wife is bleeding and the home invader is in the process of doing something horrific with a weapon in his hand. John picks up something off the floor, runs towards the criminal, and knocks him out. Somehow (because I don't want to be too graphic) this man dies but it wasn't "just because", it wasn't because he lost his temper, it was for self-defense and his intention wasn't for that man to die, just to get him away from his wife and keep his family safe. Now that you know the truth, what is your reaction? I bet its the complete opposite of the first two situations.
Even though our situation has nothing to do with the killing of another person, the "moral" of the story still applies. No one knows the whole story of what is going on in anyone's life or why things are or aren't going the way they should. A lot of things are out of our control yet we're still being blamed for it and are criticized, looked down upon, and judged.
If anyone wants to know whats going on with us, or why we're not married yet, ASK US! Don't ask our parents, don't ask our friends, don't ask anyone BUT US!!! Because WE ARE THE ONLY ONES who knows EVERYTHING that is going on in OUR LIVES! And I can guarantee that NO ONE knows the whole story because NO ONE EVER BOTHERS ASKING US! They ask other people that they think are a reliable source because of their relationship to us (but if you only knew how those people really are) If you want to know the truth, USE YOUR BRAIN AND GO TO THE SOURCE!!! But even then you will never know the whole story or exactly what is going on. But at least going to the source will be the most accurate one you can get.
I'm sorry to have to say this but the fact that it keeps happening is hurtful, upsetting, and disappointing. I'm not going to just sit back and take people speaking negatively of us or think things without knowing all the facts first.
So when the time comes and you receive and invitation to our wedding, if you've EVER thought negatively of us, gossiped about us, looked down at us, didn't take our engagement seriously, or anything along those lines, DON'T EVEN BOTHER COMING because we will not waste our time or money on someone like that. And if that meant everyone we know, THEN SO BE IT. We will not associate with backstabbing, unloving, self righteous individuals if we can help it.
Just know, anyone who is judging us will be judged themselves.
I can't believe its already been that long. It feels like only yesterday we were rivals, haha. And now it's already been half a decade. Woah! And the greatest part of it all is the excitement of being in a relationship together is still there. There is never a dull moment between us. We always always ALWAYS enjoy each others company, always have something to talk about even though we talk ALL DAY LONG, and there has never been a time where we didn't want to spend time together.
Anyways, for our anniversary we went out to eat at Orochon Ramen in Little Tokyo with my cousin Corinne and our Friend Michael. I LOVE this place which is why Tommy wanted us to go. Then after dinner we walked around a bit, went into a couple of shops, and went to Pinkberry for some frozen yogurt which I also love! (My first time to Pinkberry though. I prefer Nubi Yogurt). And while in one of the stores we took a few pictures of us trying on glasses and masks. It was an awesomely weird store, haha.
I had a lot of fun. It was really simple and I couldn't have asked for a better way to celebrate our anniversary :)
I've been sick literally at least 5 times this year. 5 TIMES. The last time I was sick this much in one year was when I was in High School and that was because I was completely stressed out! Ugh, stupid stress!!
I figured its about time I do some updating of the actual wedding, not just my life since this is in fact our WEDDING BLOG.
Anyways, back in May during the Memorial Day weekend my mother and I went to look for patterns and fabric for the bridesmaid dresses. Since it was a holiday weekend there were a lot of great sales. We bought fabric for 13 dresses and 15 ties and a couple patterns for LESS THAN the cost of one Bridesmaid dress from an actual bridal store. WOW! Pretty awesome! What a money saver :)
So to catch up on the exciting things, I'm gonna be an auntie! I'm not sure if I posted something on this topic already but whatever, I'm way too excited to care. I actually found out I think December 2008 that Tommy's sister, my future sister-in-law (duh) and her husband are expecting their 2nd child after 11 YEARS! Woah. I've known Leilani, their older daughter, since before she was born but since Tommy and I were what, 12 at the time, she was "just another baby" and not my niece. And even though I love Nani (what they call her for short) to death, this new baby is "different" in the sense that I will basically be her auntie from birth. But the most exciting, awesome, and best part is, I NAMED HER! Plus she's due to arrive around mine and Tommy's 5th anniversay, but everyone thinks she'll be much earlier.
So back to the whole naming thing. I should clarify that I wasn't asked to name her, I just suggested something after I found out the name that was on the table was dropped. I thought it was a pretty Hawaiian name (which is what they were looking for) that I would have named my own daughter if they didn't take it. But they did and I'm so happy!
So on August 22, 2009 little Kale'a Monique Romo is due!
Kale'a (Ka-lay-ah) means "Bright" in Hawaiian And Monique is after Tommy's other sister who has the same middle name.
Aw, I love babies :)
These pictures were taking on March 30, 2009 - 20 weeks, the day we found out the baby is a girl! And we were all in the room with her! It was awesome :)
What is it about weddings that make the majority of girls selfish and kind of stupid? I mean come on! I understand that a lot of women have dreamed about this day "all their life", and want it to be perfect, blah blah blah. But, if it weren't for the groom-to-be THERE WOULD BE NO WEDDING. A wedding ISN'T ALL ABOUT YOU, the bride, It's about the COUPLE vowing to spend their life together. So why is it that so many women say "MY wedding", "I want this", "I told him no" when it comes to something he wants that YOU don't. Is he your fiancé or your child? Yes yes, I know generally it's the girl involved with all of the planning. Yes yes, I know generally he doesn't care about the planning and only want to know when to show up. Yes yes, I know generally he could care less about every single minor detail. But your little "it's all about me", princess like attitude has got to go. There are more important things than the perfect party, such as YOUR MARRIAGE. And yes, it is a party whether or not you want to admit it.
I personally feel that the way the bride or even the groom acts during the wedding planning process is a very accurate glimpse of what is to come after the honeymoon is over. Occasional little breakdowns are normal because as we all know wedding planning is in fact extremely stressful! But if you're a bridezilla the entire time and its all about what YOU want, uh hmmmm, RED FLAG!!
I know for me and Tommy I'm the one in charge of planning this wedding because lets face it, he's a typical guy and doesn't care what color napkins we have or if the flowers match with the bridesmaids dresses. But despite all of that, I never make a final decision without his input first. Why? Because this is his wedding too and I want him to also be completely happy with how OUR day turns out. Who knows, he may actually have a preference but doesn't want to "interferer" thinking that a day that's supposed to be about both of us is in fact "my day". Which it's not and I've made sure to never considered it that.
I always figured that when or if I were to get married I would be taking my husband's name. I didn't even think twice about it. But now that the time is so close, I kind of feel bad for "getting rid" of my maiden name. I still want Tommy's name but I also want my name. I realize I could always hyphenate it but that would just make my name longer (even though our names really aren't that long to begin with) and be an issue when we have kids. Plus, I don't want to insult Tommy because I really do want his name. I thought I already made the decision to just have the one name but for whatever reason I keep going back to it. Plus, if I have both I like the variety of the cultures in my entire name, Megan Michiko Ortiz-Puig. I want people to see my name and think "What the heck is she?" It's just my weirdness coming out I guess.
I was thinking about relationships and how couples break up over anything, especially when theres no "good" reason. A couple weekends ago I found out that when my grandfather was dying (years before I was born. He was my dad's dad) he was afraid of my grandmother leaving him because he was sick. Apparently when a family member of his was sick/dying his wife left him because she couldn't deal with it. So as my grandfather laid on his death bed, he kept telling my grandmother "don't leave me. don't leave me. don't leave me."
Even though I never knew him, thinking about him that way, in his most vulnerable time, made me really sad. Sad not only for him having to worry about his wife leaving him when he needed her most, but sad for anyone that has had to deal with that. That one person is supposed to be there by your side through anything. It's so important that it's actually in the vows people make to one another when they get married. The person you claim to love shouldn't have to worry about you leaving them, especially in their time of need.
So I started thinking about me and Tommy. Even though we've only been together for a few years, we have had to deal with A LOT. More than anyone could ever know, and more than we should have to deal with so early on. We have been going through one bad thing after another non stop for who knows how long. It does take its toll, make our emotions run high, and cause a lot of stress. A lot of the things we have had to deal with in our few years together would have been the end to most relationships today. Despite everything we have had to deal with and are dealing with right now, the thought of leaving never crossed our minds. And even though dating isn't the same as marriage, we both know that we can get through anything because we have been at our darkest point and overcame it.
I decided to look for a photo hosting website to add all of mine and Tommy's photos, mainly wedding related, so we could share them with friends and family. I have about 50 million different hosting accounts (obvious over exaggeration) but wanted something "better". So I came across a list of the "9 best hosting sites" and #1 was www.dotphoto.com so I made an account. I'm not sure how many sites offer this feature but I thought it was pretty cool. We're able to make our own "website" and show whatever albumbs we choose.
Once the wedding is over we're going to ask all of our guests to go to our photo hosting site and upload whatever pictures they have from our wedding so we can add them to our collection and share them with everyone else.
Our site is up for viewing so everyone can see our Engagement, Wedding Weekend, Wedding, Trash the Dress, Honeymoon, and Project Blended photos all on one site.
Here's the web address: http://OrtizPuig.dotphoto.com
Seriously? I'm sorry but I can't stand it when people tell me that when they find out I'm engaged. Everyone is entitled to their personal opinions but it still annoys me beyond belief. I don't know what people expect us to wait for. Lets see, we're going on 5 years this August. We waited 5 YEARS to get married. We didn't jump into marriage like so many others do even though from the very beginning we KNEW we would one day get married. We have been together our ENTIRE "adult life", so no "puppy love" that most teeny boppers are known to have. We'll be 23 when the big day arrives, older than most people we know who have been married in the past few years or are getting married soon. And to top it off, we have known each other FOREVER! Why is there a need for us to wait any longer? If you're not ready to get married thats fine but DO NOT tell us we aren't or are too young.
I was reading something a former classmate said about relationships today, "I wish more couples would think before they get into relationships. Dating is one thing but please don't waste your time if you don't see yourself with that person 1 year, 5 years, 10 years down the line. Honestly think hard, where will it be 1 year from now? Good.. great. What about 5? Is it getting ugly, do you see yourself trying to keep it together for the sake of being together for 5 years. 10 year rolls around... think about it. You get my picture." His personal opinion got me thinking about us at the very beginning of our relationship.
From DAY 1, Tommy and I both thought (to ourselves) there was a very good possibility that our relationship was going to work out. We had the same interests, same beliefs, basically grew up the same way, had the same wants in life, and were really good friends (best to be exact), so the odds seemed to be in our favor. We were able to see ourselves years down the road, still together. Marriage was even on our minds from the very start. We weren't going to waste our time with someone we couldn't see ourselves with in the future, being married to.
We were both taught that relationships weren't something to take lightly. They aren't something you get into just for recreational purposes. So because of what we were taught, our OWN personal beliefs, and logical reasons, that statement above makes perfect sense.
I know for me personally, I knew Tommy was THE ONE (for sure) when I saw myself 10, 20, 30 years into the future with him. I occasionally thought about what types of things I would like to accomplish or do with my life. Marriage was something I would have liked to do (but not a priority), have kids, travel, buy a house, etc. Material, recreational, and spiritual things included. All of which I saw someone with me, but it was never clear who it was. Just another figure by my side. Once Tommy was in the picture, that other person became crystal clear. It was Tommy who was by my side for everything I experienced in my life, or hoped to experienced.
And now that we've been together for 4 1/2 years, its even clearer that this is for the long run. The amount of time we've been together may not seem like that long, and we'll have our ups and downs, but we've never doubted that this is what we truly want. It still feels like we've only been together for a couple months and far from being tired with one another. Just spending time together makes us completely happy. We can both truthfully say that this has been the happiest we have ever been
2. How long have you been together? 4 1/2 years, 5 in August! :D
3. How long did you know each other before you started dating? Technically since we were 6, but our families knew each other YEARS before we were even born so we just say forever!
4. Who asked who out? Tommy asked me out
5. How old are each of you? We're both 22 (6 days apart), almost 23. Got together at 18. Been together our entire "adult" life :)
6. What are your astrological signs? Gemini, even though we don't follow that kind of thing
7. How tall are each of you? We're short. Lets just leave it at that, haha
8. Who's mother do you see the most? Well he sees his more, and I see mine more. But we see each other's pretty often
9. Who’s siblings do you see the most? Considering I have none? We see his, which isn't that often
10. Do you have any children together? Not yet :)
11. What about pets? Yes
12. If so, what kind? A kitten named Mochi
13. Which bill is the hardest on you as a couple? Uhhh. They're all about even
14. How do each of you work? Tommy is an Auto Decor Specialist, and I'm a Massage Therapist
15. Is that what you went to school for? Tommy, no. Me, yes
16. Did you go to the same school? Nope, never
17. Are you from the same hometown? No
18. are you from the same town now? No, but we're close
19. Who is the smartest? I think we're even. But we do have our "expertise" in different areas. But we're both horrible at math
20. Who is the most sensitive? I'll go with me since I'm the chick
21. Where do you eat out at most as a couple? No one place really. It's all over
22. Where do you shop the most as a couple? We don't. I hate shopping and he's a guy
23. Where is the furthest you have traveled as a couple? Vegas, it was with my mom and his family though
24. Who has the best group of friends? We have the same group of friends
25. Who has the craziest exes? Neither
26. Who has the worst temper? He does! hehe, but I have a temper too
So today I was just talking to Tommy and I randomly asked him what part of our relationship makes him the happiest. He told me "Our companionship. Because you're my best friend and I can tell you anything." Awww, hahaha. Well I feel the same. We were not only friends before we got into this relationship but were best friends. We did everything together, have just about everything in common, and have so much fun together even if all we're doing is watching tv. What better way to enter into a relationship? Even now, 4 1/2 years later, our relationship feels brand new. Things never get boring, we always have something to talk about, and have even been told by newer couples that they look up to us. How sweet is that. I can honestly say that this is the happiest I have ever been. Even when we have an argument, once we make up it's all worth it to have that one person in our life. The good definetly outweighs the bad. And if it didn't, we would have a huge problem, hehe.
Since we're having a Hawaiian inspired wedding, we gotta have a tropical color scheme. Naturally we'd have blue because that's both our favorite color. The other colors just came together when I realized I saw them together everywhere, in random places. So we're running with it. People seem to like it, and we're happy with it so that's all that really matters.
Tommy and I have decided to refer to our wedding as our "Wedding weekend." Why? Because all of the important wedding activities start on Wednesday all the way until the end of the weekend. So why not! It's a great way to celebrate with those closest to us in this extremely special time in our lives. We only plan on getting married once and want to stretch it out for as long as we can!
What our wedding weekend will include:
Wednesday September 23, 2009: Rehearsal Dinner. Since our wedding party will be fairly large we figured we should practice before the big day. Plus we will be passing out all the thank you gifts!
Thursday September 24, 2009: Relaxation. My Maid of Honor gave me the idea to go to a spa. And we'll be getting our nails done.
Friday September 25, 2009: The Big Day! This is self explanatory :D
Saturday September 26, 2009: "Day After Lunch" or whatever you want to call it (can't think of a better name!). We've seen this done before where those closest to the couple and usually out of town guests are invited to a day after get together to spend more time together, eat, chat, look at pictures, and open presents!
Sunday September 27, 2009: Disneyland! Ok this isn't really wedding related but we're still including it. I wanted to go this day because I want the weekend full of fun and because my maid of honor is coming in from Washington state and it's kind of tradition to go to Disneyland when she's down here.
So there it is! Our busy schedule for our Wedding Weekend!! I CAN'T WAIT!! :)
How could I forget our wedding website! We, well I, immediately started our site after our engagement. I was so excited about it that I couldn't wait. So here it is www.meganwedstommy.com. It's probably the thing I'm most excited about, right after getting married to Tommy of course :)
BTW, we used ewedding.com and LOVED it, so if anyone is getting married and looking for a great wedding site ewedding.com is it! I looked around, and even tried other sites and this one was by far the best.
More often than not people have a problem with wedding themes, “wedding should be the theme for a wedding”, or “themes make weddings look childish”, and so on. I never understood why themes were just so horrible to some people. Why do we all have to have that cookie cuter wedding? Why can't weddings reflect the couple? Makes no sense to me.
We didn’t decided to have a theme just for the sake of having a theme. It was a way to include something important to the both of us not only individually, but as a couple. What better way could we do that?
Some reasons are just coincidental, but either way, there always seems to be some Hawaiian connection within our lives:
Tommy's parents met in Hawaii
I have family from Hawaii, and even born over there
For as long as we can remember we have been interested in the culture
Tommy's (only) niece has a Hawaiian name
Tommy's mom teaches her own Hula/Tahitian class. And not only are other members of his family in it but mine as well.
Many times a year we do something or go somewhere that has to do with the Hawaiian culture (we go to hula competitions, they are apart of an annual dance show and even are sometimes hired to dance)
Even though he and I have known each other literally forever, it was because of his mom’s class that we became friends (it was taught at my house)
While searching for a wedding photographer I came across one who caught my attention because of a project she's doing that she calls “Project Blended”. She began this project because she has always been interested in the issues of interracial people and couples. And so as a way of celebrating the growth of interculturalism in our society, she photographs mixed race couples and individuals. Anyone interested can email her and schedule a shoot. So I did since my fiancé and I are both mixed, he’s Puerto Rican/Filipino and I’m Japanese/Mexican. She messaged me back giving me a little more info on it and it sounds great. All we have to do is sign a release form so she can publish the pictures (she hopes to turn this project into a book), we get about an hour, and she’ll give us pictures on a disc. Best of all its free! And since my fiancé and I are both mixed she’ll be taking photographs of us individually and together as a couple. I've also been referring a lot of our friends and family since most are either mixed themselves, in a interracial relationship, or both. I’m really excited about this! I’m even considering hiring her as our wedding photographer because not only do I like her work, she’s within our price range, but I think she’ll enjoy seeing all of the different races we’ll have.
IT'S OFFICIAL! Our wedding date is set! The reception location has been booked today!! Our main concern was being able to book the place we wanted for the reception on the day we wanted, and after that everything else can come into play. So now that we have the 2 things we didn't want to compromise on, we can get this show on the road! YAY! I'm so happy!
Our reception will be at the California Institute of Technology, or CalTech. Only certain people are able to book this place for personal events. We're fortunate to be one of them since Tommy's mom works here! I think it's beautiful and makes for great pictures. I can't wait!
It's about time this wedding happens! Even after 5 years of being together, it still feels like its only been a week. We love spending time together and hanging out with our friends. We're easy going, happy, and in love.
.jpg)
